We caught so many fish today! I think we've caught more today than we have in the last few months combined...then again, we started out barely catching anything at all. But still, we caught so much! I can't wait to tell Wilhemina and Maybeth and the others all about this when we get home!

[Filter: Dentorians]

Though I'm afraid the journals' return had escaped my notice until today, it is a pleasant surprise indeed. I have been much occupied in Allba since our arrival home, I could barely afford to check for writing every day. The children are glad to be home at last, with their pets and the uncle and aunt. They are old enough to understand, however, why we had to leave so abruptly, and I think they wish to help the war effort, in their way. With Kataryn, it will be simple enough, but the boys ... well, I will give it some thought, to be sure.

[Filter: Private]

Dragons, I don't even know why I'm agreeing to this. I could just take Kim out somewhere with just her and me. She'd probably like that better. And I bet Lenore won't be happy that Col invited us along, but ...

Dragons!

Well, whatever. Four people is better than two, right? It'll make things more fun. I'm really doing Col a favor by doing this. Yeah, that's it. I'm helping him out! He wouldn't have asked if he didn't need the help, right?

Right!

[Filter: Kim]

Um, hey!

Are you free on Saturday?

[Filter: Franelcrew]

None of you are going to believe what I just heard!

You know how Mairenn and Tabea have been sneaking around making plans for so long? Well, I heard that they're going to be taking Celeste out on a pegasus hunt! Tomorrow!

Has anyone else heard anything about this? Dragons, Celeste, I can't believe this!

[Filter: Private]

Ryan...

No matter how stupid and annoying he was, even if I wanted to smack him more than anything sometimes, he was still a friend. During all the business in Colndor, he was one of the people who kept me from completely losing it. Him and Ken and Joey and Jeremy, Brienne, June...they were like my second family. All those games of cards and Cat's Cradle, all the stories and jokes and drinks we shared.

We were never invincible, but I never thought one of us could die. Then again I never thought Corrina would die, and look how that turned out. ...Dragons, after she died I promised to take care of everyone important to me. If it weren't for my stupid arm...maybe I could've gone with them, I could've helped them or...no, probably not. It would've ended up the same no matter what.

...I'll miss you, you big idiot. You and all your annoying habits and stupid comments.

[Filter: Mark]

Oy, kiddo. I got a proposition for you. You got a second to listen?

Lenore wants to go out someplace nice on Saturday. That store over by her shop, I'm sure you've seen it? Typical Hanalan fare, nothing too fancy. Not too expensive either, so you ought to be able to foot the bill.

Anyway, what I'm thinking is you bring your girl along and we make a group out of it, huh? I'm sure Lenore wouldn't mind none, that girl is pretty calm about this shit. And I'd like to get to know your girl. Now her asshole boss is locked away, I figured she'd have the time and might like it if you took her out to dinner like a gentleman.

What do you say?

I could've sworn --

Um, I was out in market today getting something for Lady Chloe, since her birthday is coming up awful soon, and I swear there was somebody following me. I think I saw them once or twice out of the corner of my eye, but it was just so -- they weren't never there when I turned around! But I'm sure I saw them.

I guess it was probably nothing but I just can't get it out of my head. I don't know why anybody would be following me but with the war and everything ...

I just know I'm overreacting but it's so hard not to.

[Filter: Private]

This only took me five drafts. I wish I'd paid more attention when they were teaching me politeness.

[Filter: Public]

Lady Ruseia, I'm Sir Dagda, a knight in Lady Lauren's service. I have been sparring with your knights since we arrived, and we danced together on the Festival of Leaves. I know my lady has already spoken for the discipline of our knights, and I also know that what I'm about to offer may seem unseemly considering our stations.

You know that I can dance, but the ballroom is not my strength. I would like to dance with you on the practice field. I've debated asking you because it's not my place to challenge an heir. I hope you will accept. It's been a dream of mine since that night to show you my skill in an area I excel at, and to have a bout with the best.

[Filter: Tallys, in Kilian]

Are you all right? I haven't heard from you since that -- since Lord Craig decided to threaten you. Are you still at that inn? Are you safe, at least? Are you

I don't suppose you know what's caused this. I can -- If Baethan was closer to the border you know I'd come in a moment. Do you want me to come meet you on the road? I can make arrangements for it, if you need me to. I'll bring If

What's going on? Please, Tallys, tell me.

[Filter: Lauren]

Are

I've been hearing some rumors about what Mairenn and Tabea have planned for Celeste. I'm sure by now you've heard them as well.

While I'm sure Celeste is going to be excited for all of this, I feel like I should ask. Are you sure you're going to be up for it, with -- with your cousin? I remember how much you and Tyre wrote. And I'm ... sorry, that you had to find out from that man. But I know it's not my place to say, but I'm sure Celeste wouldn't want you to push yourself overmuch if you weren't ready for this.

So, question. When is that Council meeting getting out, tonight? I realize that you're all busy, I get it, but you have to eat sometime.

More specifically, I think Aes should find a way to sneak out and meet me for dinner. I have two reservations, and it's going to be awfully awkward for me if I have to sit there at a table for two all by myself ...

Oh...oh my! Goodness, all this snow! I never imagined something like this could happen, even in the North! But it looks almost like [pause] home out there.

Everyone who came to the temple yesterday ended up spending the night, the storm was that bad. We don't even know when they'll be able to leave...

[Filter: Private]

...it feels like Korin, but...no, Korin's still home to me. My family's there, after all. But I've been here long enough for it to feel like home, too.

[filter: col]

col~ i was thinking we should go out to a really nice and romantic dinner, because it's been so long since we did. there's this restaurant i've been wanting to try, and some of our customers keep saying how great it is! we should go!

[Filter: Private]

Still nothing. How much longer is this -- I can't do this. If I'm really pregnant, what am I supposed to do? I can't just sit down in the middle of the tundra and have a baby. What would I do with it? Where would I take it? What the hell would --

Lysander would make a big stupid deal out of it, too. I'm not ready for this. I know he's not ready for this. He's just got some harebrained idea about wanting to do the right thing. Why can't he be more determined like this about things that actually matter?

And every time he looks at me, I just -- I see it in his face, how I just --

[a long pause]

This is not what I need to be thinking about right now.

[Filter: Lysander]

Okay, look. We need to talk. I know for a fact these men haven't been talking to you about their plans, but they've said a few things to me, and you need to hear about it.

Have you been paying attention to all those entries from Eve's people? The ones about that advisor?

[Filter: House Veirnan, Stephanie, and Meghan]

This place is ... do we really need to stay here? It doesn't feel right at all. I know everyone is tired, I am too, but I don't know if could really get any rest in a place like this.

It doesn't feel very safe.

[Filter: Franelcrew]

Has anyone been down to the next floor yet today?

It's -- I don't know what to make of it. The floor's uneven. If you place too much weight to one side or the other, it starts to tilt down ... I didn't let it tilt too far, obviously, I wasn't exactly looking forward to falling into whatever void was underneath it. I don't really want to go through the same thing Jack did. Sorry, Jack, but you're the best example.

Does anyone else want to come down and help me try to figure out what's going on with this? I've been thinking and thinking, and I haven't come up with anything yet. Maybe if a couple of us put our heads together, we'd have more luck.

[Filter: Leigh]

You'll never guess what I heard Ruseia and Tabea talking about when I was practicing with Sir Brice! They're going to take Celeste on a pegasus hunt! It's not fair! She's not even from Korin! She shouldn't be getting one but she is all because of a big fat lie! First she gets all the attention for being a great archer just when I'm starting to get good and now this! It's not fair! Why does she get all the attention?

[Filter: Private]

I don't --

Dragons ...

... did he mean it? He offered it. He took it back as quickly as I'd expected him to, but he told me to keep thinking about it. And Dragons, I have. I have every moment of every day. Run away, just -- just run away, and leave all this behind. I haven't been able to get that out of my head all month. And then ... and then, Elizabeth says ...

Do ... do I want to leave all of this?

No. No, of course I don't. I love Megam. I love Lucre. I remember the first time Father brought me to this city with William and Robert. I was just ... amazed. Speechless. I knew right then that I wanted to serve in this city more than anything. Before that, all the pressure to consider being a priest had seemed so stifling, but after I saw Lucre ... it all changed. Whatever else is gone there, gone and dead and all a lie from the start, I still love everything about this city.

There's Ally. I owe her ... a lot more than I want to. I do. I know I do. She's been there for me tirelessly, and I care about her so much. I have to. This would be easy of I just didn't care. Leaving her behind ... could I do that? Could I?

My family, too. My mother -- what would she say? What would she think? And my father ... he's had enough disappointment with me for one life. William and Robert, too. They've been here in Lucre, at the estate, so many times these last few years. It was all happening right under their noses. I made fools of them. Could I live with that? I may not be close with them -- any of them -- but I love them. They're my blood. Family is family.

And Lucius and Tryanna and Lizzie ... they're family, too. More family, in so many ways. If -- if Lucius were to know that I ... that I turned his son into this, Dragons, I ... Elizabeth is constantly acting like he lead me into all of this, but I know Uncle Lucius. I know that it would be the opposite, with him. He always needs someone to blame for everything he sees as being wrong with Destin. And this ...

He said I was almost like a son to him. He won't be saying that, if Maire tells him what I am. What I've done.

This is all I know. This is all I am. And I'm ...

And I'm ... ...



miserable.

[a pause]

Haha.

Hahahaha.

I can't even -- I can't even lie and say I'm happy, here. To myself, in private. When I'm trying to convince myself not to ruin everything. I can't even ...

[a long pause]

I'm not happy, though. I can't ... I can't even remember being happy, not since I was so, so young. It's this place. It gets under my skin. It infects me. Do I really believe that I'm sick, disgusting, abhorrent? Or is it just Lucre in my blood, Megam in my veins, the damn Dragons beating in my heart? You can leave the priesthood, but you can never scour out the way they stuff your head so full of shit that you can't sort your own thoughts out from the ones they put in there. I'm not happy. I've never been happy. Because there's always been that voice telling me I can't be happy, I don't deserve to be happy. Be miserable, Emery, sit there and really hate yourself for how weak you are. You sinful, unclean thing. You evil, selfish deviant. You ... you ...

You ...

[this pause goes on for a very, very long time]

And so now ... what?

The best offer I have is ... convince Destin to make things right with Maire. Say all the right things, and cut myself off from him. And from Elizabeth, and from Lucius and Tryanna. I'd need to leave Lucre. Destin would never agree to behave himself if I were right there under his nose. That would mean forcing Ally to transfer her convent, or just ... leaving her, too. Without having Lucius right there, could I keep my job? Or would he find someone more convenient to take over for me? ... he probably would. He's never been doing me charity. He's practical.

So. That's what I have to look forward to. I give Destin to Maire -- no, to Violet, and the new one. He becomes theirs ... I lose him.

Really, I lose everything.

Hah, but it doesn't fix all the things wrong with me. Because I'll want him there with me. I'll hate every second we're apart. Sinful as ever. Sick as ever. Miserable as ever.

That's what Elizabeth's offer gets me.

Or ...

Or, say all the wrong things.

...

He offered. He withdrew it, but he offered. Run away. Run away from all of this, for good. Burn all the ships and all the bridges and never come back. It's terrifying, but ... but it's something else, too. Exhilarating. Amazing. My heart starts pounding, my palms start sweating, my breath gets short. If we left all of this behind and just went ... could I get the voices to finally shut the hell up?

Who could I become? Who could we become, if we could scrub this damn disease out of ourselves and just be?

Burn it down, salt the earth, scatter the ashes. And walk away. What do I stand to lose, really? I hate myself. I'm miserable.

Can there be anything worse than what I already live with every dragonsdamned day?

...

[Filter: Destin]

Hey.

[Filter: Those in Rayla]

Well, there they go. Some of the best men and women we have left.

I hope for all our sakes that this goes the way you're expecting, Eve. In and out and back again before the enemy even knows what's happening.

At least the cloud cover looks good, for now.

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

This is not how I planned any of this to go.

They are likely to turn me out at this rate. Back to Kavan in disgrace, and then what will I tell my family? Oh, Mother, I was turned out because I was foolish and offended the women of the city in the exact way you have always told me to beware of. Foolish of me, I am aware. I should have listened to you! And now our chance is gone.

No. No, I can't let that happen. I won't. I have too much left to do in this city. I'm not going to give up the seat for that.

But I don't know what to do to change it. People have a terrible impression of me already. Even an apology would not change that. The gossip will drift around for some while, and none of it will be of any help to me. If I could change the whispers, at least, or put them to rest ...

I cannot do this alone. I do not know this city or the people here well enough. Things in Kavan are different. I need ...

Hm.

[Filter: Joseph Eshene, in Atsirian]

Eshene, I hope you do not mind the interruption. Are you free at the moment? I have a favor I need to ask of you, if you would be willing to lend an ear.

[Filter: Celeste]

Just so you know, there's this new rumor going around about you, lately. Something about you going on a pegasus hunt? I thought, surely if Celeste were going to catch a fucking pegasus sometime soon, she'd warn me, first, but this talk doesn't seem to be going away!

So, what, are you going to be the first Dentorian Pegasus Knight? Is that where this is seriously going?

[Filter: Floran Courtiers]

I suppose I should address the rumors that have been circulating recently...I am, indeed, pregnant. The child is due sometime in early August.

I would also like to apologize for the recent unpleasantness. Things are still somewhat chaotic at home, but that's where it will stay. Dickon will no longer speak on the matter of the incident, and Mary...does not plan to return to court for quite some time. She's asked me to apologize on her behalf for being so difficult.

Why is everyone leaving?! It's just a little freezing rain and maybe snow and I know it's cold but it's winter and everyone was having fun and we only barely just had the cake so everyone shouldn't be leaving yet, but they are and we were going to duck duck goose and we haven't even done that yet and there's supposed to be a whole hour left!!! There's still some cake left too and Joshua's still having fun and he's going to be so sad when everyone's gone!!

[Filter: Private]

I appreciate the sentiment. Really, I do. I can even recognize that maybe, just maybe ... he's right about it all.

But he doesn't understand. No one ... really understands. I have to stay here. I need to be in Best Dress. I can't ... I don't know if I can even explain why. It's just ... important. It is. If I were to leave, here ...

Well, for the sort of life I'd probably be going to, it wouldn't be worth it.




I'm not too proud to admit I'm afraid.

[Filter: Miss Fayre]

I'm sorry to disturb you, Miss. I was told to contact you by a mutual acquaintance.

[Filter: Private, in Old High Kilian]

What am I even doing here ...

Humans all seem so ... Lord Craig seems awful. I guess he must feel terribly that he lost his grandson, but this still isn't any fair. He doesn't have any proof she did it. And to treat Tallys like that ...

But I don't know if I even should have come with them.

I keep thinking that if the soldiers catch up, they'll know. I already wonder if Tallys and Amalea know. Tallys is from Kilia, after all, but ... but she doesn't think anything is any different than usual. Maybe she does know. Maybe she just doesn't want to say anything. Maybe ...

[Filter: Suaimeas, in Old High Kilian]

Are you there?

[Filter: Tallys and Amalea, in Trade]

I was really hoping we weren't going to run into anything like this ...

At least the storm will slow them down too, right? If it makes the roads this bad ... We might be able to even get a lead on them, once we dig ourselves out. Southerners wouldn't be used to traveling in the snow.

[Filter: Daisy]

I still can't believe we did that!

Watching that man get paraded in front of the magistrate like that, that was -- Dragons, that felt good, didn't it? And then way his face turned red as they read off his sentence ...

I think Floran is going to be a much, much cleaner place without that evil man preying on vulnerable young women. It doesn't matter what they were, or used to be, or any of it. They're in Hanalan now. It's our job to protect them and shelter them.

... and we did. The system worked, in the end! After all that, I really didn't think we'd end up managing to get him, and somehow, we did! We really --

[Filter: Public]

...

What is this?

[Filter: My group]

Now, this is just getting frustrating.

I took the new stuff around to the -- er, usual places, today. Personally. Personally! In person! I know some of these people, I've been working with them for years! And they know me, and the old lady, and you, Caseygirl! They've always been good for a payout, before, no matter what I brought in, and this stuff is barely even ...

Well, they were plenty apologetic, and gave me a whole lot of excuses about how they're not buying right now and they're all filled up on that and times are hard. What the damn hell? They can't all be?

And they had this look, too. Like they were peering over their shoulders, like they thought someone might be listening.

I don't like it.

What are we going to do with this nonsense? It'll get us damn well stopped in Razen!

[Filer: Lydia]

What are we going to do? I can't stop thinking about that party and our experiment. If it wasn't Jason, then who? I truly do not wish to accuse him, but who else would it have been? We don't even have any proof that he did it!

I might be, uh, a little late. Just looking out the window, here, there are ... a lot of people out there, and I still have baking to do. So -- yeah. Let me know if there are any emergencies? I'm going to get as much of this done as I can but

[Filter: Anton]

Good luck. Dragons. I'll be out there as soon as I can.

[Filter: Private]

I've passed by this one twice, and not seen it before. But ... it's well hidden. It's very well hidden. His eyes give him away. He was difficult to hide, but he was hidden away where no one would think to look even in all these faces.

[Filter: Franelcrew, in Kilian]

Aileen or Jon could you come here? I found Dian. I think I found Dian.

[Filter: Private]

Well...it can't hurt to try. Here goes!


[Filter: Grandpa and Benedette]

Grandpa! Benedette had the most wonderful idea for this year's Rose Day festivities~

I don't believe it. Some guards just showed up at the docks, and straight up drug Benton kickin and screamin away. Right in the middle of all of us loadin up the boat. He kept yellin how it ain't legal to arrest him and he ain't done nothin wrong. It's gotta be the best damn thing I've ever seen. Sure didn't think it'd all happen this quick, after all the girls went and talked. Figured it'd be a week at least, but they really did it. They arrested that bastard right in front of all of us.

I think the girls and I are all goin out for drinks to celebrate tonight. I ain't looked forward to somethin like this in ages.

[Filter: Former Mera and Verity]

Did you all see the entry about Forna? And all the people who are going there? I was the one asking the questions about it, though I didn't get very far. No one trusts anyone anymore ... not that I blame them.

I know it's far but I thought maybe that's where I should be heading. We need to know more about what's going on in the east.

January 24th

This cannot be ...

There are reports that one of the villages to the north is empty, like all the other stories that we have heard. Tomorrow, Asrien flies to investigate. The girls and his mother are very upset but he is determined to be the one to go.

There is a shadow coming ... ah ...

I should not speak of that.

[Filter: Nansi, in Kilian]

I wish this didn't have to be so difficult. I wonder if we'll ever find the right place...it seems like every house that might be the right one is just too expensive!

I did like that one little cottage at the edge of the city, though...what do you think?

[Filter: Private]

...she was so hopeful. I couldn't bring myself to tell her no, I don't think they'll be there. They're gone, there's so little chance they could have escaped such a fate. But if I were in her place, I'd want to believe Symeon and the girls and Edeyn might still be safe somewhere. Even if I knew the truth I'd still want even the smallest thing to hold onto.

I wish I could have been honest, but...

...I couldn't take away her hope.

[Filter: Private]

"Unsettling," indeed.

This is ... problematic. We launched this attack on the assumption that everything was as it looked, as it always had been. If Lady Anemone and her father were telling the truth all along, then we ...

No. No, they are still not blameless. The maidenhead of a daughter of the North was taken by a man from Lahn. It does not matter what else is true or not true, that was an act worthy of this much retaliation and more. If our men weren't slaughtered by an affiliated Koriner House, it does not make us conquering despots.

... it does, however, make our position here very, very complicated.

[Filter: Lady Anemone]

You have been harassing me and my men constantly since we arrived, begging for a guard to be placed upon your sister, one to protect her and not to limit her.

Very well. You may have your wish.

[Filter: Daisy]

Dragons, I'm going crazy over here.

What's going on. Have you found anyone? Have any agreed to talk? Are they still denying everything? Is there anything I can do?

I feel so useless.

Oh my gosh!

You guys!!!

Whose idea was this?? Was it yours, Arthur? You guys are the best!! I didn't think you'd forgotten but -- I didn't think --

You guyyyys!!!!!!

[Filter: Dentorians in Lahn]

... He's slipping away.

I'm sorry, but he's lost too much blood. I can ease his pain and clear his mind, but it is not within our power to restore what all he's lost. I doubt that he will wake again.

It is a cold comfort, but least he will pass here in relative peace, among friends and comrades. The same cannot be said for the missing men of that same patrol. May the Dragons judge them gently.

[Filter: Lord Hasten]

My report, my lord.

Sir Ryan believes that it was near midday, when the ambush struck. They were settling to discuss splitting the patrol to cover the last of the ground directed them before turning back to Lahn. Koriner men, all of them. Low bred and poorly spoken, but well armed. Their weapons came from a castle's forge, but they bore no sigil. Their banners were all black.

They did shout their allegiance, however. Forna. He's quite sure that was it. "For Fallen Forna," he said, specifically.

He cannot say how many there were, except to say that his patrol was far outnumbered. He insisted he would not have escaped, had they not allowed it. He believes he was meant to be a message, or a warning, or a challenge.

It seems that the rumors of ghosts are starting to spread again. I overheard a table discussing it at the tavern near my chapel tonight. It is strange how such stories seem to come and go, which of course gives nothing to there credibility. I will hear tales from multiple different people for a few weeks, and then nothing at all for what seems like months. Even if I insist there must be a logical explanation for such ridiculousness, it always falls upon deaf ears.

[Filter: Private]

If Lord Gebann won't listen to me about being careful, perhaps this will be enough to wake him up. I knew that his increased ventures into the city would begin drawing unwanted attention.

[Filter: Dame Evelyn]

What's going on? I apologize for my impatience, but it's been a long time and I'd feel better if you or one of the Valkuria could tell me something...! Were you able to heal all of his injuries? Is he conscious? Please...anything!

[Filter: Annie, Col, Lenore, Arthur]

Are we done?

I think we're done?

Dragons that took forever. Arthur, do you maybe want to go get Eri, and you can bring her back? I think we can make a few last adjustments while you're out to make everything perfect, it's a pretty long walk.

Dragons, do you think she'll like it? I hope she likes it.

[Filter: Dentorians in Lahn]

[the page is smudged with blood]

Dame Evelyn, I hope you are reading. You must prepare your best healers at once. This man -- it's frankly a wonder he's still breathing.

Lord Hasten. The man is incoherent, and very little of what he says is comprehensible. My men will make a quick sweep in search of further survivors, but frankly, I am hesitant to send them into that forest without a better understanding of what happened, here.

[Filter: Private]

It's all ruined now.

He's avoiding me, I know he is. I'm sure anybody would just say that I'm seeing the worst, imagining what I think should be there, but I know he is. Before my dream, he barely spent any time down there. And now, ever since that night, he's suddenly devoted to finding all the Clerics by himself? ... no, he is. He is.

And when I do talk to him ...

Dragons, I don't now how to fix this. I can't even tell if he's upset because I made him uncomfortable suggesting something so wrong, or if he's upset because he is gay and he is -- I can't tell. And I don't know what I want until I can tell. And I'm going insane. I know I am. I feel so uncontrolled and upset and completely just ... losing my mind. Worrying about this. Constantly worrying about this. Wondering if there's any way at all to just makes things go back to normal and get all these questions and doubts out of my head.

If -- if he is, I honestly would rather just not know. I know that makes me sound like even more of a crazy person, but if what we had was all a lie, I should have just been happy with it. Because I was happy.

I was happy.

I always want more, don't I? I know I do. I push people to this. I need everything from them, every single stupid thing, and if they can't or won't give it ...

I don't ... I don't know what to do. Everything is just such a mess, now. I don't know what to go back to where we were. I don't know if we can. All I keep thinking is how much I ... I really, really don't want to lose him. I'm in love with him. I am. I'm the last person to really understand love and romance and all of that. Dragons know I'm awful at every last bit of it. But I really do love Sawyer. I want to marry him. I want to have children with him. I want all of that. I have for so long.

What do I even do? I don't even -- I don't --

[a long pause]

I don't.

[Filter: Faith]

... hey! Um, heh, has Sawyer said anything to you? You know, lately? In the last week ...

I was thinking ... Do you think, maybe, since so many people are coming out here, that if we go further we might find some people from Tullia??

I mean, if all these other houses left for Forna, too, and we left for Forna, maybe that's where everybody at home went. Maybe they actually escaped!! And maybe they've been there all along. It'd be nice to see Mom and Dad and everybody again .... I really miss Mom.

It's possible, isn't it?? I bet that's exactly what happened. I bet that's where they are!

[Filter: Private]

I wish I knew what to say to Dar. She's been so quiet and withdrawn this past week. At least I was able to get her out for a walk. She always did enjoy the view from the battlements. She certainly seems better today, but I don't know how much more harassment she can take from Lord Hasten's men. Every day it gets worse and there is only so much that I can do about it. It is rather telling how little control Lord Hasten has over his own men. At least this is one place that we both can be left alone for the most part.

I wonder what she is thinking, staring off into horizon like that. Should I ask, or leave her be? It has been so long since I've been able to read her like I did when she was younger. She used to just start talking when she needed an ear to listen. I [inkblot]

[Filter: Public]

Lord Hasten, someone is coming from the north. It's a rider, it is hard to tell from this distance, but they appear injured.

[Filter: Joseph, in Atsirian]

Frankly, the more I think on it, the more I find myself disappointed. It all unfolded precisely as expected. No imagination to it at all. As boring as theatrics on that scale can be, really.

And to make matters worse, it ended a perfectly amusing little party before its time. I'll need to send Lady Dairanne a sympathetic fruit basket, to match those I send to Raezi and Aes in thanks for setting up the entire affair.

How fares the Queen?

[Filter: Aes, in Atsirian]

We didn't have as much time to chat at the party as I might have liked, so I suppose I'll mention it here; you seemed to be enjoying your handsome Karnach boy, while the festivities lasted. It's no secret that Lady Rachel and Lady Ferise have been pushing you two for months.

So, come now. We haven't had a real talk in so long, woman to woman. Giving in to pressure, are we?

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I realize that it's difficult. I recognize that what happened to Matthew was intolerably sad, and Edalene has every right to grieve for him.

But this is more than grief. This is -- shutting down, completely, when Atsiria is in grave need of its Queen.

I feel terrible for her, I do. But I'm exhausted, we all are. The Council is barely functioning, we're all tired, snappy, awful to each other on the best days. Only the bare minimums are settled, and some days, not even that. Keeping this city running -- overcrowded and overstimulated as it is -- is a nightmare, an utter nightmare, and since all of our current sitters have one obvious, flagrant bias in House loyalties, we are drowning in those politics, as well. Neutral sitters are meant to mitigate that, and we have Lady Westa's spurned suitor who still clearly favors Cleraine in all things, and Lady Aes, who is -- Lady Aes.

This cannot keep. And we are all afraid to tell Edalene that, for fear of how she might react.

She's improved, but she is still so far from what we need.

Some days -- days like this -- I wonder if we'll ever get there.

Awful of me. Just awful.

I'm so tired.

[Filter: Kimberly]

All right. Have you mentioned anything at all to the other girls?

I think we should go in together, tomorrow, and try to make our final case. I don't think I can get Leanne anywhere near that place, so it'll just be the two of us, and our word that Leanne's testified to a magistrate, and is willing to do it again.

This might be our last chance ... are you ready?